The Value of Openness by PatientsLikeMe ®

Ashleigh (Georgiapeach85) is a little bit different than your typical PatientsLikeMe member – not only is she living with multiple sclerosis, she also a caregiver for her husband Phil, who has been diagnosed with PTS. In her interview, Ashleigh shares her unique perspective gained from her role as a patient and caregiver, and how PatientsLikeMe has helped her to look for a person’s character, not their diagnosis. Read about her journey below.

Hi Ashleigh! Tell us a little about yourself and your husband.
Hi! I am 29 and my husband Phil is 33. We have been married for 9 and a half years, and we have a son who is almost two 🙂 . I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting MS in July 2009 just before my 24^th birthday. My husband served in the Army Reserves for just over six years and did one tour in Afghanistan in 2002. I met him while he was going through his Med Board and discharge. We met while working at Best Buy – he was Loss Prevention, the ones in the yellow shirts up front – and I was a cashier and bought him a coke on his first day 🙂 . We dated for nine months, were engaged for six, and got married and haven’t looked back!

What was your husband’s PTS diagnosis experience like?
It has been hard as his wife to see him struggle with first acknowledging that he had stronger reactions to small things in life than most people would and that perhaps he should seek outside help and then the struggle to get the care he needs from the VA. He is finally seeing a counselor next week after requesting he be evaluated for PTS a year ago. He has never had insurance other than the VA so has to rely on their lengthy processes for treatment. He was given a preliminary evaluation in March for the claim and was told that he definitely needed to be seen further, but then the VA made no follow up.

One of his manifestations is getting very frustrated very quickly, so I try to make all of his doctor appointments for him so he doesn’t have to deal with the wait times and rudeness from the VA employees. I have spent hours on the phone getting the right forms filled out and referrals done. I am proud of him for not giving up on it and seeing that he needs to learn some situational coping strategies so that we can enjoy life as a family. Phil loves camping and the outdoors where things are peaceful and open, so we belong to a private camping club and he loves to take our son and dog up there to get away.

You have a unique perspective as both an MS patient and a caregiver for your husband. Can you speak about your role as a caregiver and some of the challenges you face?
The biggest challenge I face is remembering his reactions to crowds and loud stimulating environments when we are choosing where to go. We have had to leave restaurants because they have been so busy and crowded just waiting for a table that he gets very panicked and apprehensive about being able to get to an exit quickly. He does just fine most places, but crowds and small areas stress him out. I handle making all of my appointments for my MS and his for his medical needs so it can be stressful sometimes while trying to work full time and be a mom.

How has PatientsLikeMe helped you expand your role as a caregiver?
I am just exploring the Post-Traumatic Stress section to see what others are experiencing. I never even thought about getting support for being a caregiver for Phil, I just always assumed he was the only one with caregiving responsibilities for me, but I see that I need to learn what I can about what he is going through so that I can give back the support he has given me over the years and through my diagnosis. Just as I want to be open about my MS, but don’t want it to define me as a person, Phil wants to learn to address his experience in Afghanistan and how he reacts to situations outside his control, but doesn’t want to be defined by a label of PTS. PatientsLikeMe has helped me to look for a person’s character, not their diagnosis. I have met many wonderful people and it is a great relief to know I can log on and vent or seek guidance from people all over the world.

What has been the most helpful part of the PatientsLikeMe site with regards to your MS?
Well I found the best neurologist ever through the site by looking up people who were on Low-Dose Naltrexone for their MS (which is an off-label prescription my former neurologist thought was not worth pursuing), then I sorted by those geographically closest to me, and I sent them a private message as to who prescribed them LDN. One of the members gave me Dr. English’s name at the MS Center of Atlanta, and that center has been a godsend for the care and advancements I have been exposed to. In a similar circumstance, I have made a new friend when a lady two years older than me found me under a search for those in her area and through messaging we found out that her son and mine were born on the same day, just one year apart! She lives 10 minutes away and Phil and I have become friends with her and her husband and that has been so great to have a female friend my age, with MS, and with a young child. Beyond the connections, being able to search for a medication and seeing how it is working for others and their reviews has been immensely helpful.

What’s one piece of advice you have for other caregivers who are also managing their own chronic conditions?
Just because there might not be a cure doesn’t mean you can’t learn a lot about life and yourself in the journey for caring for someone you love. Learn to take the good days with the bad and be thankful for life and being around to give support. In my case, I care for my spouse whom I love with all my heart and will be with for the rest of our lives. You have to view the big picture when you get caught up in the stress of day-to-day or certain circumstances, it’s the only perspective you can take when you’re in it for the long haul 🙂 . Also, don’t feel guilty when you need to take a break for yourself, you are only good for others when you have charged yourself up.

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Christine_Williams was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF) in 2009, and ever since, she’s been managing a “rollercoaster ride that’s terrifying and not fun.” But she’s connected with your community on PatientsLikeMe for inspiration and was even referred to a new medical center to be evaluated for a lung transplant by her “rehabilitation buddies.” Below, read what Christine shared about her diagnosis, progression and thoughts on living with IPF.

Can you share a bit about your diagnosis experience? We’ve heard from many members that finding an official diagnosis isn’t always easy. What that true for you, too? 

Mostly no. In March 2009, I contracted pneumonia back to back within 8 weeks. It was around the time when the swine flu became a big deal, and I had visited Cancun, Mexico that year. I wasn’t necessarily in great health but fairly healthy. I had always attributed my shortness of breath to me being overweight. Because of the pneumonia, a CT scan was ordered. Then a bronchoscopy and finally a video assisted lung biopsy. I was diagnosed however right after the bronchoscopy. I started exhibiting shortness of breath symptoms in 2001. Even went through a series of PFTs at the time but was given an inhaler and told to lose weight. Ironically I didn’t start to suffer from REAL shortness of breath until after the diagnosis. Perhaps I had an exacerbation when sick with pneumonia. 

How has your IPF progressed over the past five years?

To tell you the truth, I really don’t know. I figured the doctor would tell me if there was an exacerbation or not. No news is good news? I do know that my disease had stabilized within 2 years because I was “kicked out” of the lung transplant program so to speak. I no longer needed to see the transplant team doctors however was recommended to still see my pulmonologist which I did. It was only the diagnosis of pulmonary hypertension (in October 2013) that the option of lung transplant is back on the table. I know I need to know this information and will ask my pulmonologist how my PF has progressed when I see her this month. I was only using oxygen at night until March 2013. Then I started using it full time. My liters per minute (LPM) has increased since then too (from 2-4 at rest and 4-6/10 on exertion).

Take us through a typical day in your life – how are you managing your IPF?

I officially retired from my job December 2014. I have up days and down days. Every morning I open my eyes, I thank God! I attend pulmonary rehabilitation (PR) twice a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays). I used to attend a yoga class given by the PR until it was cancelled. I hope they bring it back soon because it brings me much needed peace and helps me breath better. I try to be as “normal” as possible. I cook, clean, spend time with family and friends. I also help take care of my 5-year old twin grandsons for about 3 hours every day after school. I run errands; post office, dry cleaners, etc. Sometimes I go to the doctor by myself but most times I ask for someone to go with me; just to have another set of eyes and ears. I rely heavily on my support system both in person and on-line.

Since it looks like a lung transplant might be back on the table for you, can you tell us a little about what the experience has been like?

It is a very exhausting experience. I’m being evaluated by three different centers (University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, Temple University and New York Columbia Presbyterian). Every other week, I’m changing my mind. Traveling back and forth, making appointments, getting all the tests done can be extremely stressful. I was initially with the University of Pennsylvania lung transplant center. I was rejected by them because of esophageal issues. I was so defeated that I went home and cried and said I can’t do this anymore. But I guess God has something else in store for me. I was referred to UPMC and my cousin had a double lung transplant at Temple. One of my “rehabilitation buddies” went to NYCP and referred them to me. I am a part of the NYCP program and UPMC and Temple are in the process of testing me. I know that lung transplant is not a cure but an option. It’s trading one set of challenges for another. It is good to see some people that I have met on-line over the years thrive with transplant.

How have others in the IPF community on PatientsLikeMe helped support your journey?

Words cannot express how I feel about the IPF community! As I mentioned earlier, they are an important part of my inspiration. Their honesty, love, courage and encouragement help keep me going when I think I can’t go on anymore. I pray for our individual and collective healing on a daily basis. 

You post a bunch to the “Today’s Thought” thread in the forum – what is one thought you’d share with someone who has recently been diagnosed with IPF?

DON’T GO IT ALONE!!!! Please reach out to family and friends. Stay connected even if it’s online. Research face-to-face groups on the Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation website. Talk to a therapist, priest, rabbi, etc. This can be a dark, lonely and scary experience; a rollercoaster ride that’s terrifying and not fun. Remember that you are not alone!!! And there is a whole community of us just waiting with open arms.

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