Meet member David (david61060), a United States Air Force veteran who’s living with multiple conditions including PTS, sleep apnea, and epilepsy. When we caught up with him, David shared what it was like to grow up as a “navy brat,” his experience in the military, and how It took him more than nine years to admit to himself that he had PTS.
Below, see what he has to say about triggers, coping with more than one condition, and the value of connecting with others on PatientsLikeMe.
Tell us a little about yourself.
To tell you about myself … well I was a navy brat and grew up mostly around just military kids and people connected with the military, every 3 to 4 years moving to a new base. Except in the 70s we stayed in the Republic of Panama for 6 years, leaving there in 1976. I was 16 — that was the hardest move. First year of high school … leaving behind a lot of friends that I knew I would never see again. Moving to California and graduating high school, I went into the Air Force. In my 15 years I saw a lot and did a lot but my last tour was the worst: Desert Shield and Desert Storm.
I came home with so many problems – depression, seizures, nightmares, waking up in a different room than where I went to sleep … then the divorce and losing the house. The car we had broke down and I had to walk or take the bus to the base (fortunately we did not live far from the base).
Most of the military doctors at Kelly Air Force Base did not seem very sympathetic to my problems including weight gain because of the drugs … blackouts at work THEN the notification that I was being discharged because of my weight gain. The next thing I knew I was in a true padded cell with the bed bolted to the floor.
If not for my older brother (a fighter pilot in the USAF) and my father (a retired USN Officer) stepping in and having multiple conferences, I would have been discharged with out a hope of help from the VA or the US government.
You wrote in a forum post, “Some people … did not want to even hear or listen to me.” How did you find the courage to open up about your PTS?
Opening up about my disorders — PTS and my seizures — I was originally very quiet about my problems. I do not even know if my parents who I lived with even knew. An assistant at the VA in Martinez, CA recommended that I go to a meeting at the mental health unit, and I did. I met one of the best doctors I have known, Dr. Kotun. She recommended that I go into one-on-one therapy, so I did.
It took me more than nine years to admit to not only myself but to my therapist that I was suffering from PTS.
In your profile, you list epilepsy, depression, and sleep apnea as some of the other conditions you live with. How has it been managing these in addition to PTS?
Managing and just attempting to live with them are not really that different. Being sure that I take my pills three times a day is a real trial for me. In the morning there are 12 pills (including vitamins and other OTC pills). Getting my sleep is and can be the hardest part. Sometimes the nightmares and the sweats can be the hardest part of the day. Putting the mask on for the sleep apnea at times seems like putting on that gas mask … just dozing off and I hear a car horn that sounds like the warning siren. The mask suddenly feels constricting … I end up awake for hours afraid to have to put it back on. Usually I do not until the next night.
As I said before I think living with all I have can be really trying for me and my new wife but I have to go on — I have to — the other choice is not an option.
Some people have shared their PTS “triggers.” Do you know your triggers, or do symptoms happen unexpectedly?
My triggers for my PTS seem to happen when anything military is close— the helicopters flying overhead. Hearing munitions going off, and sometimes it could just be a memory that that was triggered — walking in a park and we come to a fence line and the area suddenly looks like the area close to one of the bases I was at, then a car backfires and I drop to the ground and reach for my weapon. In the long run it can be embarrassing to react like that in public. This had stopped me from even going out the park or into the city but I am working on all of it slowly.
And then there are times that I just have that feeling for no reason and the fear comes over me again like a wave. It makes no sense.
What has it been like connecting with other vets on PatientsLikeMe?
Connecting with others and talking to others about my problems and seeing theirs has been a remarkable window to work with … to realize that if we all open up we could help each other. Being that there are others on the site that are not veterans but have a lot of the same problems has been very helpful to me, and I hope to others that I have written to as well.
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