23 posts tagged “disorder”

“I can see that there actually is help here.” – JustinSingleton shares his experiences with PTS

Posted August 21st, 2015 by

JustinSingleton is an Army veteran who recently joined PatientsLikeMe back in June, and he’s been exploring the veteran’s community ever since. This month, he wrote about his experiences in an interview, and below, you can read what he had to say about getting diagnosed with PTS, managing his triggers and the importance of connecting and sharing with fellow service members. 

Can you give us a little background about your experience in the military?

In 1998, I joined the Ohio Army National Guard as an Indirect Fire Infantryman – the guy that shoots the mortars out of a big tube. For six years I trained on a mortar gun, but after being called back into the Army (I left in 2004), I was assigned to an Infantry Reconnaissance platoon, and I had no idea what I was doing. Before heading to Iraq, we trained together as a platoon for six months – learning not only the trade, but to trust each other with our lives.

It wasn’t until March 2006 that we arrived in Iraq, and I was assigned to the Anbar Province, which at the time was rated as the worst province of the nation. I was deployed in the time leading up to the need for “the surge.” As we drove the highways of the Anbar, we were shot at, mortared, and bombed. Intelligence even found “wanted” posters of one of our vehicles (we named it Chuck Norris).

When were you diagnosed with PTS?

I wasn’t diagnosed with PTS until many years after the war (I tried to “fix” myself), but the traumatic events are actually multiple, including receiving indirect fire on what was supposed to be my last mission – just a week or so after two good friends were evacuated after being maimed for life.

What have you done to manage your symptoms of PTS?

At the beginning, I refused medicines – I thought I was strong enough to beat it on my own. I worked with a VA counselor before moving for a semester. While there, I worked with a university student/counselor, but nothing was really helping. Finally, I went to my Primary Care Physician and told her that I needed more. The VA psychiatrist tested some medicines, but one needed to be changed (this is normal). Finally, the combination of medicine and individual therapy created within me a sense of “I might make it.”

You joined PatientsLikeMe in June 2015.  As a newer member, what do you think of the veteran’s and PTS communities?

I joined this community because although I feel better than before, I still need the help of others. I can see that there actually is help here.

You’ve mentioned in the forum that your triggers seem to be non-combat related – can you describe your triggers?

In one of the forums I mentioned my triggers. These, to me, are odd. Bridges, garbage on the side of the road, and even a midnight stroll have triggered panic attacks or anxiety. Often, simply being in a grocery store too long causes anxiety to the point that I take a quarter of Ativan, squeeze my fists or the cart, and head to the door or checkout (whether finished or not). While this has caused an impairment in life, it has never been “the end” of life. These are objects on my road to a healthy living – objectives to be conquered.

Although there is a prevalent idea in the Armed Forces that a man/woman should never ask for help or ever see a physician, I have found that to be a rather juvenile view on life. The greatest thing a veteran facing PTS or anxiety can do is not try to face it alone. We are a community, a brotherhood, and only together with a good doctor can we ever hope to survive.

What advice do you have for other military members who may be experiencing PTS and related conditions?

Twenty-three of our brothers and sisters quit every day. I refuse to be a part of that statistic.

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The Patient Voice- PTS member David shares his story

Posted June 27th, 2015 by

Today is PTS Awareness Day, so we wanted you to meet PatientsLikeMe community member Cpl. David Jurado, who lives with post-traumatic stress (PTS). David developed PTS while serving in the military. After he retired, he continued to deal with daily symptoms, and he encourages members to connect with others on PatientsLikeMe, because “if you want to make changes for yourself and the PTS community, you’ve got to share your story. The same thing may be happening to them.”

David is not alone – and neither are you. There are more than 1,000 vets living with PTS that are part of the community. We’ve heard members like David talk about how important it is for them to connect with people who ‘get it.’

Not a veteran living with PTS? You’re not alone either. With more than 8,000 PTS members, it’s easy for anyone with PTS to share their story and get support.

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Getting to know our Team of Advisors – Kitty

Posted June 18th, 2015 by

Kitty represents the mental health community on the PatientsLikeMe Team of Advisors, and she’s always ready to extend a helping hand. She’s a social worker who specializes in working with children in foster care, and below, she shares how her own journey with major depressive disorder (MDD) has helped her truly connect with and understand the needs of both her patients and others.

About Kitty (aka jackdzone):
Kitty has a master’s degree in marriage, family and child therapy and has worked extensively with abused, neglected and abandoned children in foster care as a social worker. She joined PatientsLikeMe and was thrilled to find people with the same condition who truly understand what she’s going through. She lost her job as a result of her MDD, which was a difficult time for her. Kitty is very attuned to the barriers those with mental health conditions might face, and has great perspective about how to be precise with language to help people feel safe and not trigger any bad feelings. Kitty is passionate about research being conducted with the patient’s well-being at the forefront, and believes patient centeredness means talking with patients from the very beginning by conducting patient surveys and finding out what patients’ unmet needs are.

Kitty on patient centeredness:
“To me, it means that it’s all about the patient from start to finish. In the beginning, it’s talking with patients, conducting patient surveys and reading any written material that would be helpful in order to find out what patients are most wanting and needing and not getting. In healthcare, this would translate to a doctor engaging with a patient in a way that is especially helpful for the patient. This may require asking a question a certain way in order for the patient to answer truthfully and to feel that their doctor really cares about them as a person. (I was fortunate enough to have had one primary doctor like this for many years and it makes a huge difference!) It puts the focus on that particular patient at that moment and requires empathy and understanding (and not just going through the motions) in determining what is best for that patient.

In the area of research, the same is true. Research of this kind is done to improve the client’s physical and/or mental life in some way. Any research should be done with the patient’s well being at the forefront. Questions should be asked in a way that will lead the client to be very open about their experiences. The client should be fully informed regarding any research in which they participate and be asked at the end if there is anything that has not been covered that they have questions about. They should be informed of the results of the research afterwards and perhaps be allowed to give their thoughts about the findings.”

Kitty on being part of the Team of Advisors:
“A year ago, when I read that PatientsLikeMe was putting together a Team of Advisors, I didn’t hesitate to apply. I wanted to be part of something that had helped me a great deal during a part of my life when I was the most depressed and struggling. When I was eventually chosen to be on the team, I was and have continued to be very honored. I feel such a strong affiliation with PatientsLikeMe and want to be able to help others in anyway that I can. During this past year, I’ve been able to participate in helping to compose a patients’ rights handbook and be interviewed by a researcher regarding how patients view clinical trials. Being on the Team of Advisors has given me the chance to become an advocate for myself and others. It is something that means a lot to me and something that I enjoy doing–and I think it’s something I will continue to do in whatever capacity I can throughout my life.”

Kitty on helping others:
“From the very first day that I joined PatientsLikeMe several years ago, the website has meant a great deal to me. Most of the people in my life did not really understand what I was going through. At times, they thought I really could have done more, but that I was just being lazy. When you are suffering from MDD, this viewpoint from others only increases your depression. I didn’t know where to turn. What I found on PatientsLikeMe were others who were also suffering from MDD and were experiencing the same symptoms and challenges as myself. As I began posting on the site about what I was going through and how depressed I was feeling, I felt somewhat better just by being able to express myself and even more so when others with MDD began reaching out to me with advice and encouragement. I can really say that this made all the difference to me in the world.

After awhile, I made it a point to also reach out to encourage others. I noticed that some people seemed to be very depressed on a daily basis with very little hope and I felt I had to reach out to them in some way. I began responding to their posts. A lot of times I just said that I was sorry that they were feeling bad, as I didn’t know what else to say. I hoped that just this much would encourage them. I didn’t want to be overly upbeat if that wasn’t how they seemed to be feeling, because I felt this was a disservice to them. I felt that the more I could just be there for them right where they were and with how they were feeling the more I could be of help.”

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Getting to know our Team of Advisors – Letitia

Posted June 12th, 2015 by

You might recognize Letitia from her Patient Voice video and her PIPC guest blog, but did you know she’s also a member of the PatientsLikeMe Team of Advisors? Below, read what she had to say about living with epilepsy, her views on patient centeredness and all of her advocacy work.

About Letitia (aka Letitia81):
Letitia is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida and a National Certified Counselor specializing in mental health and marriage and family issues, who was diagnosed with epilepsy at a young age. Letitia consulted with doctors across different disciplines both nationally and internationally and did not find an effective treatment until she found out about epileptologists on PatientsLikeMe. Through consultations, she realized she was a good candidate for brain surgery and she underwent left temporal lobectomy August 16, 2012 and has been seizure free ever since. She successfully weaned herself off of Keppra this month under her doctor’s supervision.

Letitia is very passionate about giving back to others, and recently met a young epileptic girl and inspired her to undergo the same life changing surgery, and so far she’s met with great results. In addition to helping the young girl and her family, people contact her regularly from all over to consult about their or a loved one’s seizure condition and she’s always willing and delighted to help. Letitia is passionate about research and believes in the power of research to positively change the quality of life (mind, body and spirit), for those living with epilepsy and other chronic conditions.

Letitia on patient centeredness:
“It means that the treatment is individualized based on the patient’s (or research participant’s) unique condition/situation as well as their opinions regarding their health.”

Letitia on the Team of Advisors:
“Being a part of the team of advisors has been an invaluable experience! It has allowed me to work with other “rock star” patient advisors and PatientsLikeMe staff that are just as passionate as I am about changing health care, including research to be more patient-centered for all patients. This experience has also given me exposure that I did not imagine before to share my story, encourage, and inspire patients and caregivers. Additionally, I have been able to network with professionals from many disciplines about the value of the patients’ voice! I have heard from many patients and caregivers from different parts of the country and the world! They reached out to me with questions, for guidance, to thank me for sharing my story, and to share their stories with me. I am so humbled that they felt comfortable sharing their stories with me and looked to me as an “expert” for advice. I guess I should not be too surprised by this since I am not only a patient that can relate to their experience, but I am also a professional counselor. I have been blessed with the gift of showing empathy and compassion to others in my career. Finally, this experience, particularly working on the best practice guide for researchers fits nicely into my current professional endeavor of pursuing a Ph.D. in counselor education, with an emphasis on counseling and social change. Social change involves advocacy and creating innovative ways to improve humanity!”

Letitia on advocacy:
“I am very passionate about advocacy work! Advocacy has been a huge focal point in my role as a professional counselor. I am currently a clinical manager for a large mental health and substance abuse agency and I teach and mentor my staff about the importance of advocacy work. Advocacy is one of the many reasons I stay involved as a patient on the PatientsLikeMe website. Additionally, I have been able to partner with other organizations such as Partnership to Improve Patient Care (PIPC) and the US News & World Report to share my story with diverse audiences. Ultimately, these experiences have allowed me to help other patients and caregivers see the value of advocacy in patient-centered health care, and I am so grateful to be a part of this powerful movement!”

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Getting to know our Team of Advisors – Charles

Posted June 8th, 2015 by

We’ll be featuring three Team of Advisors introductions on the blog this month, and first up is Charles, a veteran Army Ranger who is also living with MS. Below, Charles shared about his military background, his thoughts on patient centeredness and how he’s found his second family in the Team of Advisors.

About Charles (aka CharlesD):
Charles has a diverse background. He served three years in the US Army 75th Ranger Regiment parachuting from the back of C-130 and C-141 aircraft. He built audio/video/computer systems for Bloomberg Business News. He worked as an application systems engineer in banking, as a computer engineer at the White House Executive Office of the President (EOP), and as a principal systems engineer for the US Navy Submarine Launched Ballistic Missiles (SLBM) program. He is currently a contractor providing document imaging Subject Matter Expertise (SME) to the IRS. Charles was diagnosed with MS in July of 2013. MS runs in his family on his mother’s Irish side – he has one uncle and two male cousins with MS.

Charles on patient centeredness:
With experience in website design, Charles believes patient centeredness is a lot like user centeredness when designing a web site or a portal: “Information is organized according to the patient (or the user’s) view of the world. Questions that the patient most needs answered are listed front and center. The design is based on addressing the needs of the patients (users). Info is organized cleanly and logically with possible visual impairments, color perception problems, and cognitive issues of patients (users) always in mind. Research should focus on areas that will make the most difference to the patients. Ask them. Survey them. Get to know the ‘voice of the patient’ just like we look to capture the ‘voice of the customer’ in user-centric design.”

Charles’ military background:
“I joined the US Army in 1986. I did basic training and AIT at Fort Jackson, SC. After that I was off to 3 weeks of jump school at Fort Benning, GA. Then I went to the Ranger Indoctrination Program (RIP) again at Benning. I was then assigned to HHC 75th Ranger Regiment.

I spent 3 years with the 75th training for a lot of pretty cool missions. We trained a lot for airfield seizures. Basically parachute onto a foreign airport or airfield, wipe out all resistance, take the tower, and make way for our big planes to land shortly after. We had early generation night vision goggles (NVGs). I drove a Hummer full of Rangers off the back tail ramp of a pitch black C-130 that was still rolling after touchdown while wearing NVGs. They were no help at all inside the plane since they only amplify existing light. If you are pitch black you are still blind. It is a wonder that I did not kill anyone or damage the C-130 that night.

So I joined up right after Grenada and I got out right before Panama. I never saw any combat. These days I volunteer my time with, and financially support, a veterans group called gallantfew (www.gallantfew.org), started by retired Ranger Major Karl Monger.”

Charles on being part of the Team of Advisors:
“Being on the PatientsLikeMe Team of Advisors has been a wonderful privilege and an excellent opportunity for me. As a person with a brain disease, it is not always comfortable talking with others about my illness. When the Team of Advisors first met up together in Boston, I knew that I had found my second family. I was together in a room where every single person there was struggling with one or more diseases, many of which can be fatal. In fact, one of our team members, Brian, died after serving for only a few months. It was such a warm and welcoming environment. All of us were able to speak openly with each other and with PatientsLikeMe staff and we were heard. Each story, no matter how painful, resonated with the whole group.

All of us in the first PatientsLikeMe Team of Advisors shared many of the same goals. We are an extremely diverse group, but we all bonded immediately. What we want is to help conquer the diseases that have caused problems in all of our lives. We want to improve the relationship between researchers and the patient community. We want to help health care providers to better understand the patient perspective. And we want to make the world a better place for the next generation and for all generations to come. PatientsLikeMe embraces those goals and we embrace PatientsLikeMe. Together we are taking on all diseases.”

Charles on healthcare for veterans:
“As a veteran, health care issues are very important to me. I have seen so many veterans return home with wounds to body and mind. Many are shattered and have no idea what to do with themselves next. Some turn to drugs and alcohol, others to fast motorcycles or weapons. Suicide is rampant among newly returned veterans. The VA is woefully underfunded to take on the mission of supporting wounded and traumatized veterans. In the halls of Congress, the VA is seen as a liability, an unfunded mandate. Many veterans are denied the coverage they so desperately need. Many active duty service members are forced out with other than honorable discharges for suffering from PTSD or TBI. This limits the liability of the VA to support the veteran after separation. A good friend of mine who died recently put it this way. He said to me, ‘The military operates on the beer can theory of human resources. Picture a couple of good old boys out for a good time. They go down to the local liquor store and grab a nice cold six pack of beer. They go down to the lake, they each pop the top and they each start chugging a wonderful ice-cold beer. When they get through the first beer, they crush the can and throw it away. They grab another and another until the beers are all gone.’

I didn’t understand how this related to the military. He explained, ‘The brand new ice-cold beer is like a new recruit. The military sucks everything they can out of the person until all that is left is the empty shell. Then they toss that out and go grab another one just like the last one.’

We don’t deserve a health care system that treats returning veterans as empty shells. We can do better, but the current system is clear reflection of the value system at play in Congress. Funding for weapons programs are highly protected. Funding for the people who wielded those weapons systems is not. My answer may seem a bit cynical, but that is how I see the current state of affairs.”

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Coming together for immunological and neurological health in May

Posted May 12th, 2015 by

If you follow PatientsLikeMe on social media, you might have seen a few “Pop Quiz Tuesday” posts. Today, here’s a special pop quiz – what do fibromyalgia, myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) have in common?

The answer is that they are classified as Chronic Immunological and Neurological Diseases (CINDs). And since 1992, every May 12th has been recognized as International Awareness Day for CINDs. Today, in conjunction with Fibromyalgia Awareness Month, it’s time to recognize everyone living with a CIND.

While fibromyalgia and ME/CFS are both CINDs, each is a little different. Check out some quick facts about each condition:

Fibromyalgia1

  • Affects 5 million Americans over the age of 18, and the majority are women
  • The cause of fibromyalgia is unknown
  • Common symptoms include insomnia, headaches, pain and tingling in the hands and feet

ME/CFS2

  • Affects between 836,000 to 2.5 million Americans
  • The large majority of people living with ME/CFS have not been diagnosed
  • There are five main symptoms of ME/CFS, as opposed to the more general symptoms of fibromyalgia:
    • Profound fatigue that impairs carrying out normal daily activities
    • Unrefreshing sleep
    • Cognitive impairment
    • Symptoms that worsen when a person stands up
    • Symptoms that worsen after exerting any type (emotional, physical) effort

But sometimes, living with a CIND can be hard to describe. Check out this short video to get an idea of the invisible symptoms of ME/CFS.

Today, you can share your support for fibromyalgia and ME/CFS on social media through the #May12th, #Fibromyalgia and #MECFS hashtags. If you have a chance, you should incorporate the color blue into your activities, anything from changing the background on your Facebook to shining a blue light on your house at nighttime.

And if you’ve been diagnosed with a CIND, join the community at PatientsLikeMe. The fibromyalgia community is one of the largest on the site – over 59,000 people are sharing their experiences, along with more than 11,000 living with ME/CFS.

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1 http://www.niams.nih.gov/health_info/fibromyalgia/fibromyalgia_ff.asp

2 https://www.iom.edu/~/media/Files/Report%20Files/2015/MECFS/MECFS_KeyFacts.pdf


Give veterans access to the care they need

Posted March 11th, 2015 by

By Peter Chiarelli, retired U.S. Army general & CEO of our partner One Mind

As originally seen in the Washington Post

Soldiers listen as U.S. Secretary of Defense Ash Carter (not pictured) holds a question-and-answer session with U.S.military personnel at Kandahar Airfield in Kandahar February 22, 2015. (Jonathan Ernst/Reuters)

 

The high-grossing film “American Sniper” was nominated for an Academy Award for best picture, but it deserves higher honors for highlighting one of the greatest causes of casualties in our recent wars: post-traumatic stress (PTS).

The story of Iraq war veteran Chris Kyle, who was killed by a Marine veteran suffering from the effects of PTS and other mental-health problems, makes a powerful case that PTS needs to be a higher national priority. (You’ll note that I don’t include the word “disorder” at the end of PTS; the longer PTSD label actually discourages some service members from seeking treatment.) Since “American Sniper” debuted, Veterans Affairs and Defense Department leaders have been highlighting their programs for helping veterans diagnosed with PTS. But are those programs working?

In too many cases, the answer is no. Our PTS diagnostics remain crude, and no drugs have been approved specifically for treating the condition. Complicating matters, because of genetic and other differences among individuals, patients react differently to varying drugs and dosages. Finding the right mix can be a frustrating saga of trial and error. The wrong drug or dose can, if not caught in time, become a factor in other serious mental-health and behavioral issues, even including suicide.

It only makes sense that once Defense Department doctors identify an effective treatment for a service member, that same treatment should be available when the service member leaves active duty and moves to VA for care. More often than not, however, it is not.

The disconnect occurs because Defense has an all-inclusive drug formulary that allows clinicians to prescribe almost any medication approved by the Food and Drug Administration, while VA has a very limited formulary, primarily to control costs. Medically discharged service members who are given a 90-day supply of PTS prescriptions eventually must report to their VA medical facility for refills, where they are often denied — not for medical reasons but because the medications they rely on are not on VA’s approved list.

This is not a case of one prescriber issuing Bayer aspirin while another uses Saint Joseph. Service members whose symptoms are being controlled by specific anti-depressant, anti-anxiety or anti-psychotic drugs, as well as pain and sleep medications, are forced to give them up and search for a replacement — often a painful and dangerous process — simply because Congress has failed to require Defense and VA to harmonize their drug formularies.

Let me be clear: The problem is not that doctors within the two systems disagree over which drugs should be part of their formularies. Their hands are tied. They must operate within the rules set out by Congress.

Rather than repeating the laborious process of finding another drug that works, many veterans have told me they sought out private providers to fill their prescriptions, usually paying for their medications out of pocket. Imagine how they feel about VA when their first experience with the agency is a doctor telling them they cannot fill a prescription that has relieved their PTS symptoms for months or even years. In some cases, the veteran is not even given enough of the recommended drug to safely discontinue its use.

I have testified about this serious discrepancy, most recently as a member on the Military Compensation and Retirement Modernization Commission, and have discussed it privately with members of Congress. A few have said they will try to address the problem, but most have declined, citing the added cost to VA of a fuller formulary and the time the Government Accountability Office would require to determine the budgetary impact of such a change. Shouldn’t the long-term cost, danger and social impact of denying vital medications to veterans provide a sufficiently compelling reason for Congress to act?

The obvious solution is to include the same medications in both formularies. If this is not possible, Defense Department doctors should exhaust all the options available on VA formulary first before considering any drugs not covered by VA. If neither of these options can be adopted, Defense doctors should at least warn service members that their current prescriptions will be unavailable in the VA system.

This problem needs to be fixed immediately. A directive released by VA in late January seeking to address the problem without correcting the misaligned formularies contains too many loopholes and is totally inadequate. We need a solution, and not a patch. Chris Kyle’s death underlines the urgency of providing effective treatments for PTS. We can start by getting the Defense and Veterans Affairs departments on the same page.

Learn more about One Mind.

Read what the PatientsLikeMe community is saying about Peter Chiarelli’s article.


“I am slowly building my self-esteem “ – PatientsLikeMe member SuperChick shares about her journey with PTSD

Posted March 4th, 2015 by

PatientsLikeMe member SuperChick is a veteran living with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and her story is one of learning to cope with emotions and frustrations. She’s living proof that things can get better – she’s a loving mother of two, has a great husband and is managing several other mental health conditions. Below, she shared about the sexual abuse she experienced while serving in the military and explained how her previous husband physically assaulted her. Superchick also describes the symptoms of her PTSD and how the community on PatientsLikeMe has been “a huge help” to her. Read about her journey below.

Note: SuperChick shares about her story of abuse, which may be triggering.

Can you speak a little about your PTSD and what led to your diagnosis in 1986?

I was originally diagnosed with PTSD after being raped while I was in the military. I believe I was more susceptible because I had been molested as a child and didn’t have good family support or dynamics. I worked through it, but was diagnosed again in 2007 after leaving a severely abusive marriage, where I was raped multiple times and choked at least twice. I was emotionally abused and didn’t even realize it was abuse. I stayed for fourteen years trying to change myself because my ex-husband had convinced me I was the problem and couldn’t do anything right. It destroyed my self-esteem and any healthy coping skills I had.

What are some of the symptoms you experience because of your PTSD?

Since being diagnosed with PTSD the second time, I have numbed my emotions, I experience anxiety, and I have trouble falling and staying asleep even though I may be thoroughly exhausted and am taking medications for sleep. Sometimes I am afraid to go to sleep. I sometimes have nightmares, although not nearly as often as I used to. I have difficulty fully trusting my current husband, or people in general for that matter, even though I know he would never harm me and treats me with tremendous respect. I have suffered from a very low self-esteem and for a long time felt responsible for the trauma. I react more intensely to triggering situations than other people would. I am slowly building my self-esteem, but that is still a struggle for me.

You’ve got two wonderful children – how does PTSD affect your family life?

Because my children spend half their time with their father, I worry about them when they’re with him because I know how abusive he can be. I worry about them being sexually abused or harmed and am very protective of them around anyone I don’t know very well. I’m afraid of my daughter becoming involved in abusive relationships when she grows older and my son becoming an abuser. In a positive sense, I am very affectionate and make time to listen to them and engage in activities I know they enjoy because I want them to experience healthy love. I am remarried to a man who truly loves and respects me. My husband and I try to model a healthy relationship for them.

It’s hard for my husband and me, though. The fact that I still have to be involved with my ex-husband and am told over and over again by the court system, child protective services, and all the mediators we’ve worked with that I have to get along with him makes things very difficult. It minimizes or completely dismisses the trauma I’ve experienced. My husband wants to protect me, and this makes him feel frustrated and powerless. There is no way to get along with a narcissist and abuser. I want to move on and not have him as the focus of our lives, but then something happens and it starts all over again. Sometimes my husband feels shut down when he suggests something I have already tried and found to be futile.

I’ve come to realize that while I have been dealing with all of this for over seven years, he came into this halfway through and is in a different place than I am, having to deal with emotions and frustrations I’ve already experienced and dealt with. He is beginning to understand that his approach can sometimes trigger my symptoms, so when he feels like I’m shutting him down I am actually trying not to go back to that pain. It’s hard in that respect for me to be there for him. We plan to go back to family therapy to help develop a healthier focus for our lives. We’ve been dealing with adversity that has out of necessity been the major focus of our lives, but now we need to move on.

How have you learned to live and cope with your PTSD?

I’ve been in therapy since before I left my marriage, and finally found a therapist who has helped me overcome many of the symptoms of PTSD through EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), which helps change the way I react to the memories. For the most part, I am able to remember the trauma without it bothering me. I still experience triggers, but am able to process the emotions using cognitive behavioral therapy skills and journaling. When I am triggered, I make sure I take care of myself through prayer, talking with my husband and therapist, and doing things that help me relax, ground me, and fully engage my mind, like playing my flute and piano.

The community on PatientsLikeMe has been a huge help. I’ve been able to get support from people all over who have been through what I was going through, and that has helped me cope and make better decisions about my health. I was able to see what my main issues were through the mood map and monitor the effectiveness of my medications. There were many times the PatientsLikeMe community were far more helpful than my doctor.

You’re also living with bipolar II, depression and a few others conditions – how do these affect each other?

I believe the PTSD triggered the bipolar, because I never had symptoms until after I left my marriage and had symptoms of severe PTSD. As I look at symptoms of PTSD, it explains a lot of behaviors I didn’t fully understand, like self-harm, which began as I started to talk about and process the trauma of long-term sexual abuse in my previous marriage. As I’ve worked through many of the issues causing the PTSD, I’ve found that I no longer experience the symptoms of bipolar and have been able to decrease my medications. If I do experience depression now, it is short-lived and related to a specific experience.

As a veteran, what is one special message you’d send to your fellow veterans also living with PTSD?

I think veterans have experiences that only people who have been in the military can understand. Military units are like family, and I find I miss that sense of community now that I’m retired. Meeting with other veterans, especially those with shared experiences of PTSD, may be helpful because those people are more likely to relate well.

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“You can get better” – PatientsLikeMe member jeffperry1134 shares about his journey with PTSD

Posted February 12th, 2015 by

Many veterans are a part of the PTSD community on PatientsLikeMe, and recently, jeffperry1134 spoke about his everyday life after returning home from military service. In his interview, he touched upon his deployment to Somalia in the early 1990s, and how his memories of Africa cause daily symptoms like anxiety, hallucinations and nightmares. But despite everything, Jeff remains upbeat and reminds us that there is always hope. Scroll down to read what he had to say.

Note: the account below is graphic, which may be triggering.

Can you tell us a little about your military service and your early experiences with PTSD?

I entered the military in the Army in July 1990 as a heavy wheeled mechanic. I went through basic training and AIT at Ft. Jackson, SC. I went to my first permanent duty station in December in Mannheim, Germany. I was assigned to a Chinook helicopter unit. My unit was very relaxed and we got along well. As soon as the war broke out we received our deployment orders. We returned home in July from deployment. My PTSD was early onset after returning from Desert Storm. I experienced nightmares, depression, alcohol abuse and drug abuse. At the time I was a 19 year old alone in Germany away from my family struggling with this mental illness. My supervisors were able to help me hide my problems well and it was not discovered at that time. I feared being singled out for having these problems. Three days before it was my time to PCS stateside our company was deployed again, this time we were going to Somalia. I was told I could leave but I felt guilty so I volunteered to stay and deploy with my teammates. We deployed in November 1992 and returned in June 1993. During my time in Somalia it was rough. During the deployment my job was perimeter guard duty and body remover. During the deployment I used local drugs of Khat and Opium Poppies to control the symptoms of my illness. After returning from Somalia not only did I have the symptoms that I had earlier but now I was hallucinating hearing voices, smelling smells and seeing flashes. I went stateside a week after we returned. I went to Ft. Leonard Wood, MO in an engineer unit that was strict. I made a huge impression with my skills as a mechanic and a soldier so when I was having problems my superiors hid it for me to keep me out of trouble. I did get in trouble once after a night of heavy drinking and smoking marijuana and was given an article-15 for being drunk on duty. Before that day I had still considered myself as a career soldier and I decided then that I was not going to re-enlist. I spent the rest of my military time waiting to get out and finally July 1994 came and I was out and had a job at a local car dealership as a mechanic. After working a while I got into a verbal confrontation that turned physical with the business owner and had to be removed by the police from the dealership. After that my thinking became bizarre and very hyper-vigilant. I took newspaper clippings and taped them to a door so it would motivate me to exercise harder and be ready if I were ever in a life or death situation. At the time I was working with a great therapist and she did wonders for me keeping me stable. She convinced me to take my medications and stop drinking daily.

What were your feelings after being officially diagnosed? 

I was blown away when I was diagnosed in 1995 after a suicide attempt that ended up with me being hospitalized on a psych unit for a week. My sister walked in on me at my apartment with a loaded gun in my mouth. I was resistant to treatment or even acknowledging that I had this illness. I was linked up with a therapist and psychiatrist before leaving the hospital.

What are some of the symptoms you experience on a daily basis?

On a daily basis I usually deal with a lot of anxiety, some depression, occasional hallucinations and nightmares. On a bad day I will have sensory hallucinations with me smelling dead bodies, burning flesh or cordite. Usually when that happens I get physically sick.

You recently completed the Mood Map Survey on your PatientsLikeMe profile – what have you learned about your PTSD from your tracking tools?

I learned that my PTSD is not as well managed as I would like it. It made me press my doctor to give me an antipsychotic medication and I have a new therapist at the VA that is working hard to help me identify when my symptoms are becoming worse.

By sharing your story, what do you hope to teach others about PTSD?

I just wanted to show that you can get better and that there is hope and that they can get through it.

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Finding others with PTSD

Posted December 5th, 2014 by

Sometimes it’s nice not having to explain yourself to people who don’t really understand what it’s like for you, and to surround yourself with people who just get it. As the PatientsLikeMe post traumatic stress disorder community grows, we’ve heard from our members who are veterans about how important it is for them to connect to other vets.

Here’s a conversation with our Product Manager and former Marine, Sean Horgan and community member, David Jurado (Jrock121). They shared about their struggles returning home after war, and how they missed their rooftop cigar time with the boys.

David shared some personal details about his journey living with PTSD: after self medicating with Jack Daniels and oxycontin, David found help and peace of mind, connecting with other Veterans, communing with mother nature, and stepping up as a role model for others. He now teaches people you can “replace bad memories with good memories” by working through your bucket list.

The beginning of his transformation started with this cute pup, Willett. Named after a service buddy who died in combat, Willett helped David get out of the house and re-engage with society. David is now Executive Director of Companions for Heroes, a company that places shelter dogs with vets living with PTSD.

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Raising awareness on Veteran’s Day

Posted November 11th, 2014 by

Right now, there are almost 22 million American veterans living in the United States, and every one of them has a story to tell. So today, we’re honoring their service by raising awareness for life after the military.

Like many others who are living with chronic conditions, the injuries our military men and women sustain are not always visible. Thousands of veterans are affected by post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), 30,000 have been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury (TBI) since 2000 and many others are living with depression. Sometimes their symptoms don’t even manifest until many years after their service.

These eye-opening statistics are why we’ve recently announced a new multi-year collaboration with One Mind to help the millions of people worldwide who are experiencing post-traumatic stress traumatic brain injury, or both. We’ll work together to expand and enhance the PatientsLikeMe online registry experience for people with these conditions, to provide better resources for day-to-day living, and to capture more patient-reported data for research.

If you’re looking to learn more about US veterans, head to your nearest book store and grab a copy of “For Love of Country,” Howard Schultz’s and Rajiv Chandrasekaran’s new book (just released on November 4). Check out the video synopsis below:

 

There’s also the Concert for Valor today – it’s a free live event that is being organized on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. for veteran’s awareness. If you can’t make it in person, tune in on iHeartRADIO.

If you’re a veteran living with PTS or TBI, you can find others and connect to people who understand what you’re going through on PatientsLikeMe. There are more than 4,000 of members in the Veterans Forum, and every day, veterans are learning more about their health and the best ways to cope. Share a bond, and live better, together.

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Depression Awareness Month- What does it feel like?

Posted October 26th, 2014 by

Here at PatientsLikeMe, there are thousands of people sharing their experiences with more than a dozen mental health conditions, including 15,000 patients who report major depressive disorder and 1,700 patients who report postpartum depression. What do they have to say? This word cloud has some of the most commonly used phrases on our mental health forum.

It gives you a feel of the many emotions, concerns and thoughts that surround the topic of mental health. But the best way to increase awareness and knowledge, we believe, is to learn from real patients. To help show what it’s like to live with depression, we thought we’d share some of our members’ candid answers to the question, “What does your depression feel like?”

  • “My last depressive state felt like I was in a well with no way to get out. I would be near the top, but oops….down I go. I truly felt that I would not be able to pull myself out of this one. I felt hopeless, worthless and so damn stupid, because I could not be like other people, or should say what I think are normal people.”
  • “It feels like living in a glass box. You can see the rest of the world going about life, laughing, bustling about, doing things, but they can’t see you or hear you, or touch you, or notice you at all, and you cannot remember how to do the things that they are doing, like laughing, and just being ordinary and satisfied with it. You are totally alone although surrounded by people.”
  • “It feels like walking in a dimly lit hallway (or totally black, depending on the severity) with no exit in sight and no one else around.  You keep walking hoping to come to the end, trying to feel along the walls for some sort of door that will take you out of this tunnel, but to no success. At the beginning you feel like there has to be an end or a door of some sort – something to get you out, but as you keep walking, your hopes damper by each step. You try yelling for help, but no one hears you.”
  • “Depression is very much like feeling as if I have no arms nor legs and (what’s left of) my body is upright in the middle of a road on a cold, dark, foggy morning. I can’t run. I can’t walk or crawl. In fact, I have no options. I have no memory of how I came to be there. I know I’m going to die, I don’t know when or exactly how. There’s nobody around who sees me or understands my situation. If somebody gets close by and I scream, they’ll run away in fear. My family has no idea where I am and I’m alone… except for the headlights down the road.”

Can you relate to any of these descriptions? If you’ve battled depression, we encourage you to join our growing mental health community and connect with patients just like you.

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“I was just doing my job” – PatientsLikeMe member Lucas talks about his experiences with PTSD after serving in the Marines

Posted October 21st, 2014 by

PatientsLikeMe member Lucas (Freedom666420), or Sarge, as his friends and fellow soldiers call him, served in the Marines during two tours in Iraq and was injured while literally hoisting his entire squad up and over a wall to take cover from enemy fire. He recently spoke with Sarah, a PatientsLikeMe community moderator, and shared about his experiences in an interview. Lucas talked about his recurring insomnia and nightmares, and how quitting alcohol and speaking with fellow veterans has helped him cope with his PTSD. Read what he had to say below.

Will you tell us a little about your story?
I enlisted in the military right before I turned 18, graduated basic training about a week after I turned 18. I was in the Marine Corps for about three years total after all the paper work was done. I was discharged medically- honorable retirement discharge because I was injured.

I was on my second tour, about half way through when we were taking air fire and I was trying to get everybody over the wall and I looked back, after I got the last person over, I looked back to make sure everything was clear and that’s when I saw an RPG coming at us and I pushed the last guy over the way and I was blown up. I was hit by shrapnel and the explosion blew me about 61 feet past the wall and when I landed I shattered my right heel and I had shrapnel across my face and shrapnel in my right hip. I walked back to base.

You want to make sure, whenever you’re a squad leader, you want to make sure everyone is safe before you are.

How many people did you get over the wall that day?
I got 22 people over the wall that day.

Wow, you’re such a hero.
I don’t say I’m a hero, I was just doing my job.  I like to be recognized for some things but I served in the military, I was just doing my job.

What are your experiences living with PTSD?
I have nightmares. Basically I have insomnia because I don’t sleep. Every time I do sleep, all I think about are my brothers that didn’t get to go home to their families. And the men that I served with all the way through basic SOI (School of Infantry) training and all my other training, there were several that I went with and I actually went to their families and gave them all the information they needed to know. I wanted them to know personally what happened and how everything went. Because most families never get closure from the military, they just get a statement saying your son (or daughter) has been KIA (killed in action) and they never give a reason of how they went. I wanted everyone’s family in my platoon to know how they went. I know my family would want closure if I were killed.

Are you currently treating your PTSD?
It’s something that I don’t know that I’m ever going to get past. There are things that are drilled into my mind right now that I don’t know that I’m ever going to get past.

That’s why the VA wanted to send me to a counselor and I told them I’m not going to go talk to someone who’s never been there before. There are people that I’ll talk to about some stuff, and there are people I won’t talk to.

It’s one of those things where you have to be very comfortable with the person you’re talking to. I had a horrible experience when I was younger with a counselor, so I don’t like counselors. I’ve been through ten of them.

I think I’m just better off going to the VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) because there’s one right in my town. I quit drinking so I go and drink a non-alcoholic beer or soda and I talk to them. I quit drinking a couple years after the military because for the first two and a half years there wasn’t a day I went sober. I drank constantly. There were days when people worried about me because I was always drinking. But I was able to sleep. I needed to be able to sleep, so I slept. I’ve been sober for going on 4 ½ years now, but I just wish I could close my eyes and not see faces.

What helps you cope?
Mostly I talk to another Vietnam vet. It just seems like talking about it makes it a lot better. It’s very helpful when you talk to somebody about it. I feel like you have to talk to somebody else that’s been through something similar. If you find an older man who maybe fought in Vietnam, they give you great input on everything.

It’s better to connect with somebody who you can open up to because you’re able to speak about it and try to get some relief for yourself because if you keep it all bottled up inside, it just gets worse from there. You know before I started talking to the Vietnam veteran who I’m talking to, there were plenty of times that I thought about killing myself. But after talking to him for the past two years now, I’ve honestly begun to feel like I don’t want to anymore. I’ve started a family and things are going better for me, I just still have nightmares and flashbacks, but things get better when you actually talk to somebody that has been through something similar.

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It’s time to recognize mental illness in October

Posted October 6th, 2014 by

Think about this for a second; according to the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) 1 in 4 people, or 25% of American adults, will be diagnosed with a mental illness this year. On top of that, 20 percent of American children (1 in 5) will also be diagnosed. And so for 7 days, October 5th to 11th, we’ll be spreading the word for Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW).

What exactly is a mental illness? According to NAMI, A mental illness is a medical condition that disrupts a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning. [They] are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life.”

There are many types of mental illnesses. The list includes conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar II, depression, schizophrenia and more. MIAW is about recognizing the effects of every condition and learning what it’s like to live day-to-day with a mental illness.

This week, you can get involved by reading and sharing NAMI’s fact sheet on mental illness and using NAMI’s social media badges and images on Facebook, Twitter and other sites. Don’t forget to use the hashtag #MIAW14 if you are sharing your story online. And if you’re living with a mental illness, reach out to the mental health community on PatientsLikeMe – there, you’ll find others who know exactly what you’re going through.

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