26 posts in the category “Bipolar disorder”

Patients at work: Member Nancy on being her own boss

Posted January 10th, 2017 by

We recently launched a blog series about patients who’ve started (or are gearing up to launch) their own businesses, sparking a discussion around how to manage your health without giving up on your career goals.

Say hello to Nancy (@spicerna), who sat down with us to discuss how she finds a balance between living with bipolar I and expressing her creative side through her art. Nancy chatted with us about the kinds of projects she likes to work on, and why it’s important for her to be her own boss: “I need a job where I am the boss every day. There is an unpredictable nature about the illness…not a day that goes by to where I am not making judgment calls to maintain my health.”

Can you tell us a little about yourself and your diagnosis experience?

I have struggled with symptoms of Bipolar I, since I can remember. I really noticed the ups and downs in the teen years. And at age 16, I had my first psychotic break, (1 out of 5 breaks in my life.) I have always been an overachiever and had big dreams and goals for the future but the combination of everything that I needed to succeed broke me. My body and mind couldn’t handle it. There was never a balance of my life. I never took a break I was a workaholic. I slept just 3-4 hours a night most nights. I had as many successes, as I did years of crash and burn.  It was just hard for me to work a mainstream job. I can’t do deadlines very well, stress triggers Mania. I was in complete mania working a full-time job and going to school for 7 years of my life then in a complete depression for 8+ years as I worked each day to recapture my life. Since I had 5 times of extreme psychosis. It wears on your body. I just had to begin plans to do a 180*. I was choosing the path to the most resistant and not enjoying the ride along the way. There were many things that I was doing wrong. I needed the balance, peace of mind; love for myself and to not live in extremes.

I have a certificate in residential planning and I planned on having a career in kitchen and bath design but that is high stress and the 180* was to find that my hobbies and being an artist is more of a goal and where I should be headed now. If I could make that work and market it to make some income. Then I can kill two birds with one stone I could have my success and support myself and take care of my illness at the same time.

I need a job to where I am the boss every day there is an unpredictable nature about the illness there is not a day that goes by to where I am not making judgment calls to maintain my health. I have to take many brain breaks clear my mind. That gets in a way of a full time every day job.  So to work at my own pace is crucial. So I can work around my mind.

How did you first get into making art? What are some of your favorite projects?

I started cross-stitch at age 8 at the same age I would draw in 3rd grade floor plans of my favorite houses that we vacationed at. In high school I took drafting class. I was very into residential homes and design. Through school I loved anything design and art related and at age 12 I determined that would be my life goal, I wanted to get into homes and design the plans for them. Well that idea evolved and now the goal is to be an artist and create art for people’s lives. It took a long time to make that distinction. I guess that is part of the process of the journey.  My cross-stitch was an obsession growing up. I made over 45+ pictures most of them were gift to friends. By working with my hands and heart it was a release to use the needle and thread, very healing. Then after a while after I chased after my career for a while I realized that I wanted to get involved with other mediums so with no money for school I began to teach myself using YouTube for advice other mediums, to illustrate for cards and create paintings. Wherever my ambition will lead. I am interested in paper, wood and fabric. I am defiantly in the experimental stages, working on many different projects to see where that may lead.  Right now, I am drawing and gravitating towards architectural element and gardens.  The sky is the limit.

Where have you been able to sell your art so far? What are your plans for growing a business out of it in the future?

I was making and illustrating some cards for people around me I would go to market and sell my cards just for the experience and wow they sold like hotcakes and had some people pay $10 for one card and there were orders for batches of 12 cards for Christmas and finally I just got warn out with all the work and found better ways to market my cards. I have one idea to sell and make good money buy illustrating my cards then making copy’s at the printers then selling or making silhouettes on the Internet for Cameo cutting machine sell the rights to the company and then when people buy my silhouette on the web I get paid a percentage I liked that idea. All of this is going to take me a long while to manifest I am becoming an expert in my own field so I am gauging down the road. 

How does living with bipolar affect your creative process?

When I am in mania my mind is racing the world it is so much deeper and broader and I have so many ideas. I have so many ideas but there not concrete. On the meds I struggle with similar issues as in mania; plus to focus, concentration, comprehension, low energy. I do think clearer on the meds but the symptoms never go away. It takes much strength to break down and be in the mood to do art so I am surprised when I look over my work and see so much progress.  So maybe once a day do a little bit. It is hard when your mind is choreographing dance songs in my mind and you know how to make that happen but all the details of the work and learning everything to piece that together. I don’t have energy for that. But it goes through my mind. All I know I can do anything I set my mind too there is just isn’t enough time for it all in this lifetime. Sometimes I think that I have the illness to keep me down to earth instead of a balloon flying off into the universe I have so much internal power.

On the flip side, does the process of making art help your manage your health?

Art is passion: it is metaphysical and spiritual. It takes you places. Color, and creating: helps release your mind. It keeps me occupied, during this life we call on earth.  It take’s skill and the process of learning, growing and creating that specific look is a life long job so fascinating to find.

I can manage my health by getting to a place to where I feel at complete peace and feel like I am doing my calling in this world. I feel depressed and moody if I am not doing that. I need Art in my life.

Do you have any advice for others with chronic illnesses who wants to start their own creative businesses?

Do it for fun first for years then add the buying and selling part. That is what I am doing? I feel more prepared to sell my work that way. Do your research about the business end and start with small classes to help you understand the business world. Become and expert first and then the process will be less stress on you. Owning a Business is a risk and you want to do what you can to succeed.

Most of all love you and have some faith. There is power within your heart that is just waiting to break through. Believe in that every moment of every day. Love yourself first and foremost and love others around you. Give to them in increases the harmony. Don’t get trapped in the hole of oppression and burden, get out!! Then you can succeed in all area of life and be ready for your own business.

Share this post on Twitter and help spread the word.


Meet Laura from the PatientsLikeMe Team of Advisors

Posted December 22nd, 2016 by

 

Say hello to Laura (thisdiva99), another member of your 2016-2017 Team of Advisors. Laura chatted with us about what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder and why she thinks it’s essential to find and connect with others who live with the same condition: “It is of the utmost importance to connect with other Bipolar Warriors. Mental illness can be very isolating.”

Laura also shared some details about her background as a professional opera singer. She’s performed all over the world and has even won a Grammy! Get to know Laura and read her advice for others who are living with chronic conditions.

What gives you the greatest joy and puts a smile on your face?

Hearing the laughter of my husband, my nieces, and my nephews brings me ultimate joy.

What has been your greatest obstacle living with your condition, and what societal shifts do you think need to happen so that we’re more compassionate or understanding of these challenges?

My greatest obstacle in living with bipolar disorder is having to pretend that I am “OK” all the time. People with mental illness often find that they must hide their symptoms, and live in a quiet kind of agony of the mind, so that their friends won’t leave them, or so that they can keep their jobs. Living with bipolar disorder means constantly proving to the world that I am capable and worthy, that I am more than a bag of symptoms I constantly try to keep behind my back. I have been pretending to be OK for so long now that sometimes I don’t know where the pretending ends and my true self begins. I believe that education is KEY in bringing an end to stigma. Speaking openly about something lessens the fear and misinformation surrounding that thing.

How would you describe your condition to someone who isn’t living with it and doesn’t understand what it’s like?

Bipolar disorder is an illness of opposites. I can go through weeks or months of crying constantly, sleeping all the time, and then escalate to feeling nothing at all. I want to die just so that the sadness and nothingness will stop. Then I swing up into mania, where I need very little sleep, I over-schedule myself and include myself in too many projects, and get more angry and frustrated. Eventually I want to smash everything around me, including my own head. When I’m lucky, I have brief periods of stability between depression and mania.

If you could give one piece of advice to someone newly diagnosed with a chronic condition, what would it be?

You are worthy of love. You are worthy of feeling better. You did nothing wrong. You do not “deserve this.” You are not being punished. You just need to work with your family, friends, and treaters to find love and peace in yourself again.

How important has it been to you to find other people with your condition who understand what you’re going through?

It is of the utmost importance to connect with other Bipolar Warriors. Mental illness can be very isolating. Even though I have many friends and family who want to help (and often do!), sometimes you just need to speak with someone who knows what the bipolar roller coaster is like.

Recount a time when you’ve had to advocate for yourself with your provider, caregiver, insurer, or someone else.

Not too long ago, I had to advocate for myself with my mother. My parents are my greatest allies and have been through everything with me. But my parents have also instilled in me the need to “pull myself together,” because “the show must go on” (we are a family of performers). Recently, my mother became exasperated with how I was feeling, and how I was reacting to my illness. I had to stop and tell her that even though I love her more than anything, bipolar disorder is not something that can be shoved to the side. It is not an illness that can be put in a box and left until it is more convenient. It infiltrates my brain every second of every day,  and I will never stop working with it, and trying to live with it. Advocacy is really just about education, and I think that that is something that we can do every day of our lives.

How has PatientsLikeMe (or other members of the PatientsLikeMe community) impacted how you cope with your condition?

PatientsLikeMe has shown me that I am capable of far more than I truly believe. It is so incredible to me that while other members of the community deal with horrible circumstances throughout their day, they can still take the time to offer me comfort or encouragement if I need it. PatientsLikeMe reminds me that I am allowed to be vulnerable or fragile at times, but that does not define me. It is part of the greater scheme and strength of having a chronic illness.

What are three things that we would be surprised to know about you?

  1. I am a professional opera singer. I have performed all over the world, recorded film scores, sung backup for James Taylor, sung at Superbowls and Red Sox games, and I am a Grammy award winner.
  2. I started reading when I was three years old, and I never stopped! I love the written word…especially Victorian Literature.
  3. I am a total geek…I love all things Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who, and on and on and on!

What made you want to join the PatientsLikeMe Team of Advisors?

I love PatientsLikeMe, and I love helping people. When I was given the opportunity to combine those two things through the Team of Advisors, I jumped at the chance! It is so humbling and fulfilling when people bring you into their lives, and every encounter teaches me great lessons. My mother likes to say to me, “You have a big mouth; use it for good!” I hope that being a member of the Team of Advisors is doing just that.

 

Share this post on Twitter and help spread the word.