“I have been trying to push myself more, little by little.” Member Christopher shares his journey with PTS

We recently got the chance to talk with Christopher (crine312), a computer-savvy dog lover and U.S. Air Force veteran living with PTS and bipolar. Christopher opened up about life after serving in the military — how he sometimes still  thinks in military time and tries to avoid news reports about war — and the challenges of holding a job with PTS. Get to know him him better below, and see what he has to say about the PatientsLikeMe community: “I keep coming back and posting in the hopes that I, in turn, can help someone else.

Can you tell us a little about yourself and what you’re interested in?

First, I am adopted. Due to being adopted, I have a rather LARGE family. I have five older brothers and sisters, and seven younger brothers and sisters. Due to the adoption, I am the youngest of six and second oldest of nine (my oldest half-sister and I were adopted by the same family). I grew up in Charleston, South Carolina as a Navy brat. My interests are reading anything I can put my hands on, computers, gaming and my dogs.

After serving in the Air Force, how has it been adjusting to everyday life again?

In some ways it is rather hard adjusting to civilian life. First, I still eat too fast. Second, I have to think in “military” time, since it helps me with timing and alarms, and translate it for others. Third, in the North, they are not used to the “Yes, Ma’am,” “No, Ma’am,” “Yes, Sir” or “No, Sir,” and I have to mentally cut myself off at “Yes” and “No.” Fourth, it was especially hard to watch news reports of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan due to seeing or hearing names of people I had served with or knowing that equipment I had worked with was being used and what it could do. I had to avoid Greta Van Susteren especially, since she posted names before breaks on her show on Fox News. Finally, it was hard to come back to civilian life and face some people who, not knowing anything, would call me a killer. It took a long while to grow a thicker skin and some help from Vietnam Veterans who could identify with the same problems.

You mention in your profile about the challenges of working with PTS. Can you share some of these difficulties?

Hypervigilance, although it was a good thing in the military and drilled into you daily, just leads you into paranoia and anxiety about everything. I second guess everything I do and I have to do it perfectly or as near-perfect as possible. Most jobs have only been six months, mainly because I lose focus or get bored (I do not feel challenged). I have a lot of lows that are what I call “energy sappers.” At these times, I do not really feel like getting out of bed or doing anything. Another challenge I face is forgetfulness, which my psychiatrist says is “normal” for PTS and some bipolar patients (unfortunately, I have both). I can and will forget what seem to be simple things — wallet, keys, phone or words. It is frustrating to search for my wallet, keys or phone when they are right in front of you the whole time. I used to be a spelling bee champion while in school, so imagine how irritating it is to have to search for the word that should be right on the tip of your tongue, but is not.

Along with PTS and bipolar, you’re also living with other conditions including diabetes — how has it been managing multiple conditions?

It has been difficult at times. My lows are usually extra low (PTS and bipolar II do not play well together). I am irritable if I go too long without my Metformin. I have learned quite a bit about my limitations, but have been trying to push myself more, little by little.

You’re pretty regular about updating your symptoms and tracking your health on PatientsLikeMe. How has your experience on the site been, and what keeps you coming back?

I have had positive experiences with the site since I joined it. I have found that the people are helpful and insightful. I have learned about alternative treatments I want to try. I keep coming back and posting in the hopes that I, in turn, can help someone else.

Things that help me in my everyday life are my wife and friends who encourage me. I have dogs who help liven up my day, no matter how annoying they can be at times. I play games on the Xbox on days that are especially bad, it helps to distract my mind from things.

 

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